The Literarian

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What if We All Had Tails?

What if We All had Tails? A Satire

I have been working on several book ideas from the genres of Fantasy, Science Fiction, and Serious Fiction alike. Most are in various stages of development and one is even partially underway. However, the book I am most interested in completing and publishing in the next few years is What if We All had Tails? a satirical examination into the foibles of the human race, in particular, the ridiculous commercialism and politics of us Americans.

For example, what if we did have tails, prehensile not wholly unlike our cousins the monkeys? Would we dock our tails to make a political statement or show outward fidelity with a particular religion? Would we color and braid the hair on our tails or perhaps pierce it to reflect our youthful exuberance or rebellion? Would we make fashionable attire for our tails and shop at Nordstrom or The Gap for exclusive or trendy "tail-wear"? Or would our grandparents perhaps punish children by pulling their tail instead of spanking or pulling their ear? The list goes on and on and on.

In support of this endeavor, I have been collecting bits of anecdotal or humorous - sometimes even bizarre - stories to add chapters to my book idea, all in the hope of writing a novel that is thought-provoking for some, nonsensical for most. I would take it as a personal insult should such a book ever become popular, for that would mean that likely the message never got through and that my work had become a satirical farce! God forbid!
If you have read any magazines or e-articles that you feel are indicative of a commercialized, lost-touch-with-reality culture, please e-mail me with pertinent details, dates, or links. I will most assuredly give credit in the book for all submissions and for those who submitted them.

What would you do with your tail?

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 He said, "Why should I tarry?"

And smiled with tranquil eye;

"In destinies sad or merry,

True men can but try."

Sir Gawain and the Green Knight

(Lines 562-565)