night time is the hardest time

lying here alone

thinking of your body

your eyes your mouth and more

i touch myself and hear your words

echo in my mind

i feel your hand run down my back

pretending you are mine

how can you stand a night apart

from the one who loves you so

how can you let the soft spots lie

my touch to never know

the pain that wells from deep within

when pondering your curves

my hand caressing this empty bed

shakes with passion’s nerves

i smell your body’s sweet sweet scent

still taste your luscious lips

and when i close my eyes my tongue

can feel your swollenness

i tremble here as once before

when lying in your arms

the sounds of our love both warm and wet

aroused by your furtive charms

the anguish which my body feels

is but a tiny part

the wellspring of my emptiness

my torn and broken heart

to know you’ll never want me

reviled by my touch

shunned and shamed for what i once did

it breaks my spirit much

i can’t believe you left me

or that you mistrust me so

when nothing i ever said or did

betrayed your precious soul

and though i’ve known great heartache

it’s never felt this bad

you’ll never sound the fathom of pain

each night that i have had

disavowed for nothing but fear

for something i simply am not

you focused on one act long ago

and of the man i am you forgot

what hurts most is the unthinkable thought

you accept me not as i am

if your heart cannot see changes in me

how can you possess the same

but years will soon become decades

my loss soon bearable

and what you’ve lost you’ll realize one day

a mistake unthinkable